23.04.06
Time to drop the ball!
Posted in Musings at 6:36 pm by James 
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Understanding that the anger or guilt felt towards another is but a projection of one’s own guilt is a concept readily grasped by many Course students. Accepting it takes a little longer. Recognising it in all its permutations even longer for the ego, our “trusty” ally in the dream, doesn’t really care where or what the guilt rests upon, as long as it rests on something. Using its major weapon, the belief in form over content, it seeks to delude us into thinking change has occurred when in fact nothing has changed.
I am reminded of those old musical cartoons that used to precede the main feature in the cinema, the ones with the bouncing ball to help you follow the words of the song. After a while you “know” the song and do not need the bouncing ball. However, whenever you miss a beat or feel uncertain about a word, there it is, bouncing along the screen, focussing your attention to the required word.
Our projected guilt is much like this bouncing ball. In our discomfort of our guilt we simply throw it “away”, usually at a brother. Seeing it in him, we then weave our song of hate and anger, blindly following our guide, the bouncing ball of guilt. Then something like the Course comes along and explains how this annoyance we feel for our brother is our projection. It has absolutely nothing to do with them or what they are doing. After a while we become willing to entertain this idea, at least sometimes. Where many students get into difficulty in entertaining this idea is that they continue to confuse form over content. They continue to concentrate or focus on the words of the song, no longer seeing the bouncing ball of guilt. Although they begin to take back the responsibility for what they thought they “saw” in their brother, they thus continue to follow the ego’s bouncing ball and now sing their song of guilt and retribution about themselves.
Initially this seems good, or so the ego counsels. They are starting to let others of the hook. But something is wrong as this feeling of good quickly passes and the dirge settles once more. They are so practised at following the bouncing ball they are no longer conscious of their actions. They think they are doing what is asked of them and withdrawing their projections, taking responsibility for them. Yet all they are really doing is shifting their apparent location. Still singing along with the bouncing ball they now maintain their guilt by a litany of failure and condemnation directed at themselves.
Jesus warns us of this:
The beginning phases of this reversal are often quite painful, for as blame is withdrawn from without, there is a strong tendency to harbor it within. It is difficult at first to realize that this is exactly the same thing, for there is no distinction between within and without.
T-11.IV.4:5-6
Staying with the bouncing ball analogy, the words of the song seem to give meaning to what we are feeling. This is a blind. It is not the words that give rise to our feelings but our failure to recognise we are still following the same bouncing ball of guilt.
Forget the words!
Forget the reasons and the stories they so perfectly seem to justify.
Forget the dirge.
Theses things are not the problem but the smokescreen.
See that you are still following the ball.
Now is the time to let it go.
Go on, drop it!
You will feel so much better.