23.06.08
Do I stay or go? Decisions in the “world”
Posted in Questions and Answers at 7:42 pm by miracles 
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How does the course apply to making decisions in the world? ie;do I stay or do I go etc. My partner recently had an affair and used the year afterwards for the practice of forgiveness on all levels, not wanting to make that illusion more real than say the stubbing of a toe. I did this because I felt I wanted to ‘experience’ the real world and not just have the course be conceptual for me. Anyway, Im concerned that I may sometimes choose forgiveness out of fear of change. How can I really know when I’m doing this? Is there a right decision as opposed to an incorrect one? I dont want to fail at practicing the Course to its upmost but am concerned I stay in situations evern after perhaps it is time to go feeling that I ’should’ be able to stay and to see this differently and also believe that it wouldnt be happening if I could change me mind… am I taking too much responsibility, is there such a thing. I mean, the course says there is no world and so Ive made it up. I dont want to run from my own illusions because I know Ill just recreate them yet I dont want to use the ideas of the course out of fear of change. Im really at a crossroads, in an unhappy relationship and staying for the children, for security and the belief that I can somehow fix this if I keep practicing the forgiveness (some 12 years on). I feeling somewhat unclear as to my own guidance and perhaps simply not trusting it . So any help from the Holy Spirit through you would be much appreciated. Thank you!
You have asked a number of very important questions. The Course is not concerned with the comings and goings that belong to the behavioral level. Our only responsibility is to release all that is not peaceful in our mind, whatever it is that we are doing at the time. So to directly answer one of your questions: the decision to release judgment and condemnation of any kind is the right decision. The decision to listen to the voice of fear, or the ego is the wrong decision. It has nothing whatsoever to do with what we do in worldly sense. How we do things or more specifically who we do things with and who we think with is the heart of the matter.
You used the word “should”. Whenever that feeling comes up you can be guaranteed it is the egoic voice. The fact that your doubts have been recurring over quite a lengthy period strongly suggests to me that there is something else for you to be looking at. You mentioned more than once a fear of change. It sounds like this might be the very thing you need to be honestly looking at with the forgiving presence of Holy Spirit or Jesus as your Guide. It might well be that it is time for you to move on from a situation that is no longer serving you. In this context it would be helpful to review question 3 “What are the Levels of Teaching?” in the Teacher’s Manual. From a reading of this section it is clear that some relationships are not destined to last a lifetime in a form sense.
There is absolutely nothing in the Course that would suggest you stay in an unhelpful or dysfunctional situation and forgive, forgive, forgive as if that will make it all better. Yes, as Course students we are called upon to forgive all people, situations and events as a way of transcending our belief in limitations entirely. But that refers to a state of Mind, not to what we are doing or not doing.
You are right in suggesting you are taking on too much responsibility in assuming you can change the outcome of things by forgiving. The part of us that has made this entire drama is most definitely not the little tiny self that appears to be on the stage of the world. The sleeping Son of God is the one that has made this apparent reality, not the little you you think you are. Each of our tiny little selves is simply a fragment of that dream and as these little tiny selves we have very little chance of affecting the outcome of anything! To come back to the all-important point: our only responsibility is to release judgment and to forgive ourselves for identifying with a self we are not. The peace of God is our goal, not any worldly outcome. Forgiveness is certainly not to be used as a tool or device via which we hope to affect a change in a person or situation. Yes, things do often change when the love and acceptance behind judgment is able to flow freely after fear and condemnation is released. But they may not. Remember, Jesus was crucified even though He emanated complete forgiveness!
Our very lives are the curriculum or the backdrop in which to apply Course teachings. If in all honesty, it feels it is time for you to move on, then that will be the very circumstance in which to practice forgiveness and coming back to stillness in God. The same will be the case if you decide to stay. Giving ourselves over to Spirit in a spirit of trust is an absolutely essential part of the very practice. In all things rely upon your little willingness joined to the strength of God, Holy Spirit and Jesus. That fundamentally is the Way for all Course students.